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Your Own Worst Critic -- How to Change That

November 25, 2016
by Anesa McGregor , Emmetsburg News

I am one of those who are over critical of everything that I do, almost to the point of being a perfectionist. I have said to many people, "No one can make me feel as bad as I can make myself feel when I make a mistake."

I have been so critical of the things I do at one point I had very low self esteem, low self worth, I felt like a failure and that I couldn't do anything right.

I had a college professor that helped me to understand what I was doing to myself and how to know when I was doing it. Once I realized this was happening, I could lighten up and give myself a much needed break from me.

Your Own Worst Critic: You are too hard on yourself if you are hypercritical of everything you do. You dwell on a mistake you mad at work until you are reduced to tears, feeling like a failure. Being to hard on yourself is good to a point. However, when negative thoughts lead to feelings of self-blame, self- criticism, self-judgment and so on that a step back is what is needed.

Many of us are our own worst critics. If you find yourself rehashing mistakes that you have made, made it is time to reevaluate your expectations and realize that it is ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. Having high expectations does not have to consume you. Setting realistic goals is good, just don't make them so unrealistic that you will not accomplish them.

The journey is what needs to be embraced and realizing that perfect is out of reach because no one is perfect, everyone is flawed in some way or another, and that's ok. Flaws and mistakes are what make us human. We need mistakes in order to learn and you need failure to succeed.

Instead it is important to focus on what you did right and what you can improve on. Focus on the things you have the power to control and not what is beyond your control.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help when you are struggling is not a sign of weakness. Sometimes when you express your struggles and get some constructive criticism, you are able to pick back up and push through what you had struggles with.

Being hard on yourself means that a lot of times you think you can handle it all, and most of the time you can, but not always. Many times, I feel that it is easier to do things myself than to ask someone else to help me. I'm generally disappointed in how it gets done. Sometimes you have to treat yourself as you would treat your best friend. Being kind to yourself, telling yourself that you are doing a good job and that things will work out can boost your own morale. You need to believe that things will work out because they will.

The biggest downfall of being too hard on yourself is the voices in your head. Talking negatively to yourself only makes you harder on yourself than your need to be. Your negative thoughts distort reality and disrupt your concentration. There is nothing to be gained by repeating over and over all the things you could have done better or dwelling on mistakes you have made. Think of all the energy you are wasting on bad thoughts and negativity. Channel that extra energy into positive, uplifting thoughts. Remind yourself of the things you have accomplished and what you have learned from the mistakes you have made.

Being too hard on yourself is draining and it keeps you from moving forward and succeeding. Shake off the negativity. The biggest thing that you need to realize is that you can't do it all, you are only human and will make mistakes.

Take a step back, breathe in, breathe out and let your self-esteem build and then move forward to success.



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