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Quips From The Gridiron

September 22, 2016
by Dan Voigt , Emmetsburg News

Let's set a couple of things straight. First, I enjoy football - particularly high school football, because when you personally know the players and coaches, the game is more meaningful, in my opinion. There's more interest in it to you, as you share a sense of pride when the neighbor kid makes a great play and you feel a sense of loss when your team comes up short in a game.

Now this is not to say that I don't enjoy collegiate or professional football - at the college level, I like the action, the atmosphere. At the professional level, well, you see the stars of the game, and sometimes you honestly wonder how they can justify such incredible salaries.

After watching the Vikings christen US?Bank Stadium Sunday night with a win over the Packers, I came across the following quotes from famous college football coaches and players on the internet over the years. Since football is a game of intensity, both for the players and the coaches, but the coaches often have a very philosophical and humorous way of looking at their sport. Here are some prime examples.

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble the football" - John Heisman

"I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game." Bear Bryant / Alabama

"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle, you can hear it!" - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money, and we don't have any." Erik Russell / Georgia Southern

"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it." - Lou Holtz / Arkansas - Notre Dame

"When you win, nothing hurts." - Joe Namath / Alabama

"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall." - Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you." - Woody Hayes / Ohio State

"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation." - Bob Devaney / Nebraska

In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant." - Wally Butts /Georgia

"I never graduated from Iowa. But I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's." Alex Karras / Iowa

"My advice to defensive players is to take the shortest route to the ball, and arrive in a bad humor." - Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar except for my grades." - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

"Always remember Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David." - Shug Jordan / Auburn

"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me ." He said, "Well, Walt, we took a look at you, and you weren't any good." - Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State

"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel." - Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"Football is NOT a contact sport, it is a collision sport. Dancing IS a contact sport." - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team was, "All those who need showers, take them." - John McKay / USC

"If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education." Murray Warmath / Minnesota

"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb." - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches." - Darrell Royal / Texas

"We didn't tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking." - John McKay / USC

I've found that prayers work best when you have big players." - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."

And that, my friends, pretty well explains football at all levels. Enjoy!



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