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You Get What You Ask For

August 11, 2016
by Dan Voigt , Emmetsburg News

Everybody at some time or another has been asked a question that just stops you dead in your tracks. Your immediate response can vary from "Are you serious?" to "None of your @#$%&! Business." And then, there are some questions that sometime just simply don't deserve an answer of any kind.

In my younger days, I?can remember reading a paperback with the title "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions,"?complete with cartoon illustrations that really hit it on the mark. The other evening, cruising the internet, I ran across a list of questions that were just too good not to share, so let's just examine some of "THOSE" questions and really interesting responses because you may recognize some from first-hand experience...

Thoughtless Questions and Well-Thought Replies

Why are you so short?

Uhso do you want a scientific explanation?

You're tall, do you play basketball?

Do you play miniature golf?

Why do you want to work for us?

Because I love your company and everything that you do! Now can I have a job please?

Tell us something interesting about yourself.

So you want me to zone out for the next 5 minutes to desperately think of something while I ignore what everybody else in the room is saying?

Do you know why I pulled you over today?

No, do you?

What do you do?

Just enough to get by.

How many fingers do you see?

Wearing glasses doesn't make me blind.

Why should we hire you?

Because I like money.

Why is my child failing your class?

Because they doesn't do anything to pass it.

Are you taking pictures?

No, I'm just taking my pet camera for a walk.

Do you have a girlfriend yet?

No grandma, I don't.

Who are you voting for?

Are you looking for reasons to hate me?

Why aren't you on Facebook?

I am. I'm just ignoring you.

What interests you about our company as compared to the others?

The other campanies wouldn't give me interviews.

What are you thinking about?

That someone somewhere has the largest appendix on Earth and doesn't even know it.

How's the job going?

It keeps me awake and pays the bills.

When are you having kids?

And this information is critical to your life because?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Seriously? I don't even know what I'm having for dinner tonight.

I've heard some of these myself over time, or close variations, and I even threw a question that I've been asked a few times over the years just to prove the point that these things really do get asked...over and over and over....

 
 
 

 

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