It's been too bloomin' cold of late for a serious column. When its this cold, you only want to hear news that takes your mind off the fact that you can't feel your toes, fingers, nose, etc, even though the heater in the car is running on the High Broil setting.
Keeping this in mind, I found a few news items over the Internet over the past couple of days or so that should take your mind off Mother Nature's perverse behavior.
Just when you thought you'd seen it all boaters in Biscayne Bay of Florida thought that New Years might have been a little too potent. It seems that a sandbar in the middle of the bay grew a real, live baby grand piano. Now, this isn't an island, it was just a sandbar in the middle of the bay, and low and behold, on January 2, a baby grand piano just magically appeared.
Of course, an investigation began and it turns out that the piano got there as result of a New Year's Eve bash and a college admissions stunt that didn't quite pan out.
According to The Miami Herald, the piano had served as a movie prop several years ago and ended up in a garage. Nicholas Harrington, the 16-year-old son of TV producer J. Mark Harrington, wanted to get into Cooper Union College in Manhattan and was looking for a way to spark up an application video for the school. He decided to make a video on the sandbar using the piano, bagpipes from a neighbor, and a small submersible sub. But the piano never got into the video.
The piano was set on fire during a big New Year's Eve party, but on Jan. 2, the Associated Press says Nicholas, his older brother and two neighbors put the piano onto the family boat and took it to the sandbar - where it was set on fire again.
Young Mr. Harrington finally stepped forward and admitted his involvement in the prank. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission ordered the piano removed, as it "created a potential hazard to navigation," and at the end of January, the piano was removed.
So you think the waters are safe? In Seattle, Washington, authorities are trying to figure out the particulars in a case where beachfront residents found the body of a 400-pound cow washed up by the surf.
Seattle Animal Shelter enforcement supervisor Ann Graves said animal control officers received a report late last week that the carcass of an adult cow had beached in West Seattle. The tide later moved it in front of a home.
A Seattle Police Department Harbor Patrol vessel towed the SS Bossy to a boat ramp over the weekend, where it was loaded onto a rendering truck. The Animal Shelter said it had no ear tag or other identification, and it's not clear how it got in the water.
And you thought a couple of dead carp on the shoreline during the summer were annoying?
Hopefully, this has brightened your mood a bit - but if not, I understand roast groundhog isn't too bad, especially in Punxsutawney, PA.